It's been like this for about as long as I remember. It involves childhood and it's not very pleasant.
It took me a very long time to realize it, and then a somewhat shorter time to accept it.
I'm still not quite ready to fully talk about it. I've tried writing this a dozen different times. If I waited for perfection, it probably wouldn't ever happen.
And one of us is antsy and impatient. So... The cat's name is Enlight (used since 2013). The ferret's name is shapeshifter (used* since 2019-2020).
*I wasn't really sure what was going on at the time.